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How To Deal With Grief After Losing A Spouse

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By: Jackie Walters


The depression and anxiety that can set in after the loss of a spouse can be devastating, and most of us don’t know quite how to deal with those feelings, especially when they hang around for weeks or even months. Losing a spouse is difficult for everyone, but for seniors the experience is a little different, as they are entering a stage of life that makes leaning on a lifelong companion a comfort. Because everyone copes with grief differently, there’s no one way to handle it; knowing what works best for you is important for you to be able to heal.

 

It’s also important to understand that grief and sadness take a while to come to terms with. Many people still feel an acute sense of loss 18 months after losing a loved one, although those feelings tend to abate soon after that. The key is to remember that you will begin to feel better after some time has passed, and that those feelings won’t last forever.

 

Here are some of the best ways to cope with grief and sadness.

 


Be kind to yourself

 

It’s important not to place any expectations on yourself during this time. Everyone grieves differently, and although there are typically five stages of grief that most people experience – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – you may feel a completely different range of emotions, or they may come in a different order. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s normal after the loss of someone who was close to you. You may feel angry at your spouse for leaving you, or wish it was you instead of them. Allow yourself to have those feelings and try not to place limits on yourself. Grief is unique to each and every person.

 

Don’t keep it inside

 

Find ways to express your feelings. Keeping your emotions bottled up, either because it’s painful to talk about your loss or because you don’t want to burden anyone with your grief, can make the process worse. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to a friend or family member, consider seeking a counselor or therapist who specializes in grief, or join a grief support group. Or, if that’s not right for you, keep a journal and write in it daily. Being able to get your thoughts out onto paper can be extremely helpful.

 

Stick to your routine

 

It might seem difficult or impossible, but sticking to your normal routine can help you cope with your feelings a little better. Try to do something productive every day; make a piece of art, clean a room in the house, or go for a long walk with the dog. In fact, spending time with animals can be very helpful during this time, as they can help reduce stress and anxiety. It can be hard to stick to your routine if your spouse was the one who kept things in order by cleaning the house, staying on top of bills, or keeping up the yard. Don’t shy away from hiring help to get your life back to normal whether that is hiring a housekeeper or caregiver. You might ask a trusted family member to help with the financials and ensure you don’t miss a payment.

 

Take care of yourself

 

Grief and sadness can make you feel like all you want to do is sleep, or you might feel like you never want to sleep again. Your eating habits will change, your stress levels will fluctuate, and your moods might make you feel like you don’t even know yourself. This is all normal, but everyone copes with these things differently, and it’s important to find healthy ways to deal with them. Turning to alcohol to “numb the pain” might seem like a good idea at the time, but alcohol only makes things worse when the effects wear off. Instead, turn to exercise or volunteer at a local charitable organization. Use this difficult period in your life to grow closer to your children and grandchildren - who will be sure to put a smile on your face; or seek the solace of friends. This too shall pass, but you must take of yourself while it does.


Funeral Planning, Cremation Services and more

At Everly-Wheatley Funerals and Cremation, we do, indeed, try to offer you a home—a comforting and inviting place to gather in remembrance and celebration of lives lived well. Our experienced staff is committed to this vision and passionate about making your time with us as memorable and uplifting as possible. We bring together decades of experience caring for families of all cultural backgrounds and diverse walks of life. We pledge to treat you and your loved ones just like family, and we guarantee to offer services that meet all of your specifications while exceeding all of your expectations.

Licensed staff members are available around the clock—24 hours a day, 7 days a week—to discuss your needs. Whether you are doing pre-planning or need to hold a service soon, we are ready to answer our phone and offer you warm, friendly, and empathetic service. Learn more about our funeral services.

In terms of specific services, there is much that Everly-Wheatley Funerals and Cremation has to offer:

Our Pre-Planning Services make it easy for you to get your express wishes down in writing, ensuring that you have the kind of memorial service you truly desire and that your friends and loved ones can have total peace of mind that they are adhering to your wishes.

We host Burial Services that convey both the solemnity of the occasion, but also the joy that comes from celebrating the life of a dear loved one. We are happy to attend to all aspects of the service, and we invite our guests to linger as long as they wish, fully enjoying a special and intimate time with friends and family.

For those who choose it, we also offer Cremation Services; cremation can be a meaningful way in which many families mark the death of a loved one.

We offer services tailored to honor those who are military service members and veterans, as well.

To learn more about what we do, we invite you to select any of our individual services pages and seek further information.

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